I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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