But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
