your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
