im about as happy as oj after his trial
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
