im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
