Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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