Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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