Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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