Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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