so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
