I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
