ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
