brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
