she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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