Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
