it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
