we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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