i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
