Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
