you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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