she looked like the before picture.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
