He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
