the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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