he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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