Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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