Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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