I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
