I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
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