I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
