i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
