It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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