He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
