You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
