Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
