Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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