I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
