You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The air was thick with penises
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
