K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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