that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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