Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
