I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize
