btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You were trust falling into bushes
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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