SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize