Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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