is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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