The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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