why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize