3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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