i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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