I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
