Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
