we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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