So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
