She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
