I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
