Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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