Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
