once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize