just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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