erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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