i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
