dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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