I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
