We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
But break dance skills will only take you so far
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
