I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
