I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I cockslap morals
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
